Two Years Later – What If? – It Only Lasted
Some years ago you were my summer romance. Except my love for you lasted for a while.
Our story begun some years ago on a hot summer day. It was like I was only a child, but I remember everything, everything we talked about. The first few words were sweet, something inside of me bloomed. We spent day after day talking and chatting. I felt your presence, I felt your looks. I knew we had something.
I still remember that day we met, and after the meeting, we both were separated by the ocean, I spend all that evening chatting to you. I had the time of my life loving you. You told me you loved me from the very beginning. Our love was so intense that night.
And one day we fell out, I said something bad to you because I became angry without realising who we were for each other, I still recalled what the conversation was all about, not only did it changed my mood, it changed everything that was you and I altogether as one.
The following morning it was like nothing had happened the night before. I was still in love with you. Maybe everybody could not see I was in love, and you apparently knew I still had the love you. I even texted you once, but you never answered. Most probably you started spending more and more time with your friends and I soon had to face reality. You would never love me the way I had loved you for years. But you never lost the place in my heart. You were always special.
I was too afraid. I hadn’t met anyone like you. When I thought of how much we wanted it to be, one look into it and my whole universe started trembling. Days passed, and soon summer was over and my summer dreams was over too, and you did not care enough to look it up and fix it together with me. One year passed, and a second one followed
I made it the past and I closed the chapter. I was so afraid. Couldn’t find the courage to talk to you anymore, and “only my heart knew how much I wanted to!” and it seemed you slipped away, and you really did. I dreamed that we were still together, that feeling was amazing but terrifying, and in vain.
Jobs, parties, night life, friends, confidence. And you, there you were, among the streams of humanity out there in the beautiful cities and towns that makes the center of Brussels. My heart stopped every time I thought where in the world you could be. And the months after months, my heart never stopped stopping the thoughts of you, and I was so afraid and thoughtless.
What if I hadn’t said the words at anger, would it have changed everything? When we thought it would last forever, it had already blown away. I wish you could remember that day and realized that if anything breaks up, we should mend it, we should not throw it away because it had broken – what about that?
It’s perhaps was my own fault. I probably got angry without realising. We could have spoken and sort it out, but something there failed both of us. Was it misunderstanding or didn’t we believe we were adults?
All the moments we could have had together. We’ve lost lots of days. Last night we found each other again, and you asked me if we could talk, and I immediately said yes, I am available to talk to you. You did not wait for a long time to start the conversation we left at two years ago, and I realized that the mistake we created from the break up, we have both learned to fix something when it breaks, and we did it together this time, only last night.
I hope one day in our future, when something breaks, we will use moments learned from our past to mend something that’s broken instead of throwing them away.
The past is a place of “reference,” and not a place of residence.
And only one small ocean separates us. I cannot believe that we will be meeting truly very soon.
I do care and I love you!